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Sending a child off to college is a big emotional shift — for them and for you. The goal is to launch them well and let them find their footing, while giving yourself room to adjust too. Here’s how to handle move-in, the first weeks, and the quieter house that follows.
Help them set up, then actually leave
Move-in day is for hauling boxes and meeting roommates — not for organizing their whole life. Help with the heavy lifting, take the photo, and then say goodbye on time. Lingering too long makes the first night harder for them, not easier.
Let the first weeks be a little messy
Homesickness, a rough roommate start, a hard class — most of this is normal and passes. Resist the urge to swoop in. Listen, reassure, and point them to the resources on campus. Struggling and figuring it out is part of how they grow.
Agree on how you’ll stay in touch
Before they leave, talk about a rhythm that works for both of you — a weekly call, a casual text thread — so neither of you is guessing. A predictable check-in beats either silence or constant contact.
Their wobble isn’t a sign you should rescue them
When your student calls upset, it’s tempting to fix it — call the school, demand a room change, drive up. Usually the better move is to listen, remind them they can handle it, and help them find the right campus office. Kids often vent to a parent and feel better an hour later; rescuing too fast robs them of the win.
The empty-nest quiet is real, and missing them doesn’t mean you did anything wrong — it means you raised someone ready to go. Give yourself permission to feel it, lean on your own people, and rediscover things that are yours. Modeling a full, steady life is one more gift you give your student as they build theirs.
Stay connected: learn to help from home without hovering, see how parents can help, and share the first-weeks checklist.